At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If
General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000
miles per gallon.”
In response to Gates’ comments, a news release attributed to
General Motors appeared, stating:
If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft we
would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have
to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and re-open the windows
before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept
this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
“Car95” or “CarNT”, but then you would have
to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive but would only run
on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would
be replaced by a single “general car fault” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butts.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before
going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted
the handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio aerial.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set
of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they
neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by
50 percent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as your old car.
13. You'd have to press the “Start” button to shut down
the engine.
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