Dawn Fraser: Echoes From Labor's War

Send the Bill to Besco

Your bill for those toy soldiers was received, oh, Mr. King,
But does that few odd thousand cover everything
From the time of the invasion till the time they went away—
Is just three hundred thousand all we have to pay
For all their pretty uniforms, their horses and their feed?
My land, these peace-time soldiers are really cheap, indeed!
But it grieves us to inform you we're a little bit hard pressed,
And we have an empty feeling in the region of our vest.

Yet we hasten to assure you, we will place your bill on file;
We have another like it that has been there for quite awhile
Another bill for soldiers sent us long ago;
We hope you will forgive us if we seem a little slow,
But in fact, my dear Mackenzie, times are dull with me
And the reason for this dullness is not hard to see.
Anyone in Canada, I'm sure, will say the same:
Our leaders lack ability; our government's to blame
For keeping idle soldiers who pose and bum around,
Instead of handing them a hoe to cultivate the ground,
Generals and colonels who loaf and eat their fill,
And when it comes to paying, you send us down the bill.
We would gladly do our very best of help you out, you know,
But we're sorry to inform you that our funds are kind of low.
Too bad those pretty soldiers should suffer any need,
They are really ornamental but we've other men to feed—
Yes, and little children—hungry women, too
After we have paid that bill we will send the change to you.

In the meantime, a suggestion we would offer you:
If you sent this bill to Besco perhaps they would see you thru.
Yes, get a line on Wolvin and see if he will agree
To pay you for protection of his sacred property.
You heard him wail a year ago, his plant was being wrecked,
We did not ask protection—we have nothing to protect!
Nor have we any money, times are always hard
Besco owns this county, let them pay this Royal Guard,
Sorry to annoy you about this modest little sum
But we are jolly glad to tell you Besco's on the bum—
So I fear this little item will have to wait a while:
But we hasten to assure you we will place your bill on file.

Ain't it something awful how long some bills will run?
I remain,

yours most sincerely,
Dan Willie Morrison.

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