NEWS & LETTERS, August - September 2009
'The Purity Myth'
The Purity Myth -- How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women, by Jessica Valenti (Seal Press, Berkeley, Cal., 2009).
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Jessica Valenti writes about how the religious Right has resurrected the extremely sexist notion of female "purity" in its fight against the empowerment of women and a feminist society. The myth is that a woman can only be "pure" if she has never had sex and that this is the only meaning of morality for a woman. For a man, morality means developing qualities such as honesty, courage and dedication, which requires him to do things in the world. For a woman, it means to passively avoid something, as much as the religious Right tries to dress it up in feminist language of strength. "Purity" ends up being a club to which only a few white, heterosexual, middle to upper class, and conventionally attractive women can belong.
Valenti calls the religious Right's abstinence-only movement the "virginity movement" because it makes girls' virginity into a sexual fetish. This movement holds "purity balls" where girls receive silver rings from their fathers in exchange for little pink boxes. Sometimes fathers give daughters lockets and keep the keys to give to their future sons-in-law. The daughters swear an oath to their fathers that they won't have sex until they are married, which echoes the times when a woman was the property of her father and then her husband. The abstinence movement sells T-shirts for girls saying "No Trespassing on This Property--My Father is Watching" and "Virginity is Hot."
LIES ABOUT SEX ABOUND
Valenti discusses abstinence-only classes, run by religious right organizations which still receive federal funding. They teach outrageous lies about sex, contraceptives and abortion and that non-marital sex is always devastatingly dangerous. Valenti's view is that it is important for teenagers to be equipped to make responsible decisions about sex and to be taught that non-procreative sex is positive. She emphasizes that not having sex is also a positive choice and that morality lies in making responsible decisions.
Abstinence-only classes also preach sexist gender roles including that all women are asexual and that all men are ravenously sexual. Girls are taught their role is to say no to sex, and prevent men from raping them. Valenti describes how this notion infects the larger society. Media commentators say that it is a woman's fault if a man rapes or harasses her if she is in a public place like a bar, a workplace, or the internet. They often blame feminism. Thus the purity myth suppresses women's lives along with our sexuality.
The purity myth has disturbingly seeped into legislation intended to "protect" women from making what the religious Right, or anyone else for that matter, considers a bad decision. Most obvious are laws against abortion, and Valenti quotes anti-abortion activists saying that women who have abortions are "victims." There is also a welfare "reform" program that spends tax money telling women to get married rather than helping them get education and jobs.
Valenti dedicates a chapter to how the purity myth's notion of masculinity is harmful to men. The religious Right and pop culture define men as dominant over and better than women, and if they don't hold to it they are in danger of symbolically becoming like a woman and a potential victim of male violence. Both forces claim that feminism has caused a "crisis in masculinity" because women are supposedly "trying to be like men." In reality, feminism is about women and men being equally human, and Valenti calls for that kind of world.
WOMEN AND MEN EQUALLY HUMAN
Readers are urged to fight the purity myth by educating ourselves and others about the myth and its movement, and by activism such as using the internet to fight religious right legislation, and participation in reading, writing, and commenting on blogs. She urges us to inform ourselves about all sides of controversial sexual issues. She states that community is important and that "the most radical and cutting-edge organizing happens on a local level." She tells us to "trust women" to make our own choices and to know that women's activism is an example of how our sexual status has nothing to do with our morality.
This book is important because it coherently discusses basic aspects of feminism. It asks readers to radically examine ideas such as "purity" and "virginity" (which doesn't even have a medical definition) that society takes for granted and explains how these notions are used by the religious Right to control women and society. Importantly, it tells readers how to get involved in activism with a sense of optimism that these horrifying and deeply rooted problems can be changed.
--Adele
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