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NEWS & LETTERS, August-September 2007Protesting anti-gaysTwo dozen protesters gathered, July 17, in front of "Love in Action" (LIA) a fundamentalist, anti-gay organization in Memphis, Tenn. It runs a three-month live-in program of religious indoctrination claiming to help gay people-at a price of $7,000-"break out" of "homosexual attraction and behavior." Sponsored by Soulforce, with help from the Queer Action Coalition, this protest was the latest in a series begun two years ago by local youth when a 16-year-old blogged about being sent to LIA (see story in September-October 2005 N&L). Two former LIA clients, Brandon Tidwell and David Christie, read statements about their experiences. We present excerpts of Christie's statement. -- I am a survivor of ex-gay therapies. From ages 15 to 28 I was constantly involved in some form of therapy designed to thwart my homosexual orientation. Believing I would eventually manage or even overcome my homosexual desires, I got married at the age of 21. When that fell apart two and a half years later because of my sexual indiscretions, I became profoundly committed to ridding myself of homosexuality. So much so, that I remained celibate for the next four years. While married, I discovered Exodus [a Christian group advocating "therapy" to "cure" gays]. For five years, I attended weekly support meetings in one of their affiliated programs. I lived for one year within an ex-gay residential program, LIA. I had to move, change churches, change friends. I dropped out of a promising graduate school and took on a dead-end office job in order to minimize conflicts with my ceaseless schedule of therapy, support groups, and related events. I threw out old letters, photographs, books, and music-things I loved, but which I had come to believe were negative influences. I battled feelings of worthlessness, self-hatred, and guilt. The doctrine of God's unconditional love was useless to repair the damage done by the doctrine of homosexual sin. This led to chronic depression for which I took costly medications from my late teens until I finally came out, at the age of 28. On a few occasions, in panicked despair, I contemplated suicide. At LIA, I became mutually infatuated with another client which clashed with the program's teachings, cultivating even deeper disgust with myself. I was later beaten by a staff member who lost his temper. Although he and the organization apologized, the physical, mental, and emotional damage was done. Since coming out nine years ago, I have moved to New York and gone back to school; I have new friends and reconnected with some I had lost; I have a wonderful partner of seven years; and am friends again with my ex-wife; I no longer have need of anti-depressants. I now value, respect, and trust myself in a way that seems common to straight people, yet a way that as an ex-gay I never could. |
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