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NEWS & LETTERS, January-February 2004

Thoughts on victory for gay marriage

New York--The recent Massachusetts Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage unleashed and exacerbated a myriad of opinions in numerous realms--political, religious, homosexual, heterosexual and others. Adrienne Rich reminds us that leaving lesbians out repeats the historic subsuming and neglect of women. We should also extend this to the whole GLBTQ spectrum.

To those who say that this victory is only a "transitory, capitalistic salve” and that "marriage is bourgeois,” I say that there is a difference between repudiating an entitlement and having no right at all. According to THE VILLAGE VOICE, there has been a "curious silence” from much of the "radical, progressive cadres.”

But the decision, along with Vermont’s legalization of gay and lesbian "civil unions,” has sparked a conservative backlash in legislatures propelled by the Christian Right, which declared a new "culture war.” On the other hand, a minister active in the fight for gay marriage, two dozen clergy in Massachusetts and individual ones in Colorado, New Hampshire and Georgia stated they won’t perform legal aspects of weddings until legal marriage is open to gays. "Straight” couples are also refusing to marry because gays can’t.

Such personal acts of protest, called "Hetero-Holdouts,” have taken several other forms, different kinds of commitment ceremonies and signing civil papers.

Vermont’s Freedom to Marry Task Force pronounced civil unions a "bitter compromise.” Others are excited that civil unions are stripped of religion. Judith Levine of THE VILLAGE VOICE adds that gay marriage "subverts religious hegemony over the institution.”

A crucial aspect of immediate victory is bestowing rights to inheritance, child custody, health insurance benefits, and allowance of hospital rights. In New York, partners have been denied access to intensive care patients. It is reported that gay couples can lose more than $10,000 per year in social security benefits they’ve paid for because such benefits are calculated based on family units.

Poor Queer families also stand to gain from marriage rights. In addition to everything above, there would be qualification for public housing, family courts more likely to accept claims of domestic abuse, and the right to sue for a partner’s wrongful death.

Child custody, always a perilous pursuit for gay and lesbian couples, is particularly threatened in southern and midwestern states. According to THE VILLAGE VOICE, 34% of lesbian and gay couples in the South are raising children, and that lesbians of color are more likely to raise children at home. Same sex marriage is a black, working-class, women’s issue! 

--Sheila G.

* * *

Los Angeles--Having worked for many years as a case manager at agencies assisting people with HIV, I saw how gay men were denied benefits, such as healthcare, immigration options, inheritance and life-support decisions, which heterosexual married partners can share in this bourgeois democracy.

I heard G.W. Bush protest the Massachusetts ruling by stating that marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman. In my experience, while many marriages are based on a promise to share and support, many more are like traps--for both men and women.

Worldwide, women’s economic dependency on men, their limited legal rights regarding family matters, and the social pressures on women to obey their fathers, brothers and husbands (reinforced by domestic violence, honor killings and other things) keep women of all classes trapped and repressed in many ways. I don’t see anything sacred about that.

The imposition on women to carry through their pregnancies by Christian fundamentalists and their allies in the U.S. government is another reduction of women’s options, in other words, another lock on the trap. When I worked with pregnant teens at an agency partly funded by the state government, I wasn’t allowed to speak about abortion, and in my work with abused women, I saw that some were forced by their partners to get abortions.

The option to marry or not, the option to reproduce or not, are important aspects of the dialogue on the meaning of freedom. In this dehumanized world, marriage and birth control are not separate from the various forms of alienated relationships.

--Anna Maillon

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